5 Key Steps to Help Someone Who's Having a Panic Attack

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As someone who has struggled with panic attacks, I know how agonizing, scary, and frustrating they can be.  And for the person who is with them when it happens, it can feel the same way!  Agonizing to see your friend, family member, or fellow human suffering in this way, and both scary and frustrating because you want to help but aren't sure how.  

Well, today I'm sharing 5 simple steps you can follow to help someone get through a panic attack.  It will help them to feel safe, reassured, and gradually calmer as you guide them through each step. 

As soon as you notice the person is struggling or they've indicated to you that they're in panic, let them know that they're not alone and you're going to be there to help them through it. 

Firstly, resist the urge to placate them- saying things like, "you poor thing" or "it's alright" is not helpful.  Instead, use a reassuring gentle tone and say something like, " You are not alone, I'm right here with you and I'm going to help you through this.  We'll do it together." 

When I am struggling with anxiety, I often use the image of a ladder- the worse my anxiety is, the higher up the ladder I am.  When someone is in a state of panic, they are pretty much at the top of the ladder with their arms flailing about!  Now you're going to help them put their hands firmly back on that ladder and climb back down, one step at a time.  Here's what to do:

5 Steps To Help Someone Who's
Having a Panic Attack

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1. GET THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY FEEL SAFE(R)- You will often have to leave the space that you're in to find a place that is less crowded and relatively more peaceful.  This is the first step toward BREAKING THE PATTERN OF PANIC.  Also, get them to rate their level of anxiety on a 1-10 scale. 
(Hint:  most people having a panic attack will answer "11")  

2.  GET THEM GROUNDED- Walk with the person and get them to SLOW THEIR STEPS and FEEL THE GROUND BENEATH THEIR FEET.  Imagine a ball of light in the Earth beneath their feet connecting them to the Earth.  Ask them to " allow any excess nervous energy you are feeling to drain out through the soles of your feet and into the Earth".  If available, have them remove their shoes and walk barefoot on grass.  Ask them to describe the physical sensations they feel as they walk.  This second step helps them focus more on their PHYSICAL BODY and less in the mind.  

3.  BREATHE DEEPLY AND SLOWLY-   Once they feel more grounded from step 2, go ahead and stop and find a place to sit down.  Now ask them to focus on their breath.  Ask them to place their hands on their belly and breathe into their hands.  Guide them to notice the gentle expansion/contraction of the belly as they breathe.  To allow the belly to soften with each breath.  After several "soft belly" breaths, if needed, you can take it one step further by using 2-to-1 breathing. Basically, any breathing pattern where the exhale is twice as long as the inhale has been scientifically proven to calm the mind and the nervous system.  I suggest using a 4:8 ratio (Inhale for a 4 count, Pause, Exhale for an 8 count).  But if that feels too long then use a 6:3 or  4:2 ratio.  Get it?  :-)

4.  "TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD"- Now that they are feeling grounded and calmer, ask them to tell you about something good in their life.  It could be a person, an event, a hobby or interest, or a personal goal they're working on or have achieved.  Or it could be something coming up in the future.  Ask them how that person/event/activity made/makes them feel?  Help them to connect with something positive in their life to further BREAK THE PANIC PATTERN AND ADJUST THEIR FOCUS TO A RECENT SITUATION WHERE THEY  FELT/FEEL EMPOWERED AND HAPPY. 

5.  CHECK IN- Ask them how they're feeling now compared to when you started.  Rate on a 1-10 scale again.  Revisit any of the above steps if needed- they may have found a particular step helpful.  

Do go through these steps slowly and feel free to spend as much time as needed in any step.  As you go through the steps, continue to reassure them and if needed, remind them to focus only on the task at hand.  " You're doing great", "nice and easy", "feel your feet on the Earth", or "breathe into soft belly" are some examples you can use.  To help with focus,  "nowhere else you need to be, nothing else you need to do", "surrender to the grace of this present moment" are good examples.  

Do you have any helpful strategies that help with panic attacks, either for yourself or using with someone else?  Please share them!  In this way we can all help each other to become better at handling anxiety and panic- and that makes for less panic all around.  :-)

Also if you have any questions for me regarding my experience with anxiety or panic, feel free to reach out!  


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